Celexa: The Verdict for Stuttering!

My verdict, anyway. I can't speak intelligently from the perspective of the scientific or medical community on the efficacy of Celexa as a stuttering therapy, but I can speak of my experience. As you might have read from an earlier entry on this blog, I decided to undergo pharmaceutical stuttering therapy by taking Celexa after reading a professional article about the possible benefits to stutterers. The article actually talked about the benefits of both Celexa and Xanax combined, but I didn't want to try them both at the same time, first, because they both cause drowsiness and, second, because if it worked, I wouldn't be able to tell which drug actually helped. So, my neurologist suggested 20mg of Celexa daily for 2 months....just to see the result.

I can report that my stuttering hasn't been affected at all, but I can also happily report that my fear and anxiety about wasps has all but disappeared! A surprise benefit! I don't remember if I posted about this before, but I have had a lifelong phobia of wasps. Not bees...they don't bother me all that much. Just wasps. (In the past, the image I put in this post would have completely freaked me out!) For as long as I can remember, I have never enjoyed Spring or Summer because of them. They look like little winged monsters that are constantly on the prowl, looking for somebody to torment.

My phobia was so bad that I would immediately become anxious on waking up in the morning, knowing I had to walk from the house to the car...from the car to the store...or wherever I was going. I avoided going outside on warm, sunny days. Any buzzing noise in my direct vicinity caused increased heart rate, increased awareness of my surroundings and total distraction from normal activities. I never, ever rode with my car windows down and I have actually nearly knocked people down getting away from an area where I thought there might be a wasp. At one point, I seriously contemplated moving to an area of the world where it was cold year round.

Since starting on Celexa, however...my phobia has all but disappeared and I can say this without the slightest hesitation or exaggeration. It has changed my life. I now rarely think about wasps and even if I do, there is very little anxiety and if one comes near me, I simply move out of the way. I no longer stress on my long walk from the parking lot to the hospital where I work and I can comfortably sit outside, even if there are wasps in the area. I cannot tell you how happy this makes me.

The downside is...Celexa has had a negative affect on my libido. This is pretty well documented for Celexa users, however. Additionally, I have a harder time getting up in the morning. I now sleep up to 2 hours past my normal wake up time. I am going to see if a lower dosage might be just as effective. Lastly, I am eating less. It seems Celexa has curbed my appetite somewhat. Other than these three side effects, I have noticed nothing else negative.

A reader left a comment on the initial entry about her experience, and it almost exactly mirrors mine. No stuttering benefit, but her anxiety around people has all but disappeared, but she also noticed a decrease in sexual appetite. That may be good or bad, depending upon who you ask, I suppose.

At any rate, that is my experience thus far...I am going to report to my neurologist next month and see if she wants to try the Xanax. If so, I anticipate that the experience will be similar to Celexa. I don't expect any stuttering benefit, but I imagine it will have a beneficial affect on anxiety, which is what both drugs are usually prescribed for.

Learning to Stutter? The King's Speech Film!

If you are a stutterer/stammerer, no doubt you are aware of the multiple-Oscar winning motion picture "The King's Speech" starring Academy Award winner Colin Firth. Much was made over his phenomenal, real-to-life portrayal of King George VI who suffered from a life-long stutter, but who learned eventually to overcome with the help of an unconventional speech therapist. Mr. Firth won the Oscar for his portrayal and from nearly all accounts, the award was well deserved.

It seems, however, that Colin Firth is having trouble shaking the "learned" impediment. As you can read at this link, since wrapping the film and carrying on with other projects, he has found that at times, he finds himself lapsing back into the stammer that he learned for the role. He also indicates that when be thinks about the stammer, the worse he finds that it gets. Quoting from the article, "I guess old habits die hard." You can read the story at this link, which is a different publication.

When I think about it, I can honestly understand how something like that can happen. From what I have read, much of my stutter (I can speak only for myself) is learned behavior...a habitual form of approaching speech. While I maintain that it is an impediment, probably partly genetic and neurological, I believe that I have taught myself bad habits over the years that contribute something to my own condition. For example, when I hear a ringing telephone that I must answer, my stomach muscles immediately contract and seize up in anticipation of having to get out that first word, especially if it a string of words I must emit, such as one must do when working for some company. "Hello, this is Southwest General Hospital, how may I direct your call?" I made that up, by the way.

Perhaps if I were to go through some kind of behavior modification therapy, some of those habits could be unlearned, helping me to be, at least, more fluent in some circumstances. I can't say for sure, I only speak what seems logical to me. Of course, there are many other times when my speech is dysfluent for no apparent reason at all. For example, when I am at home with a family member or loved one and I am completely at ease, there seems to be no habitual behavior associated with my stammer. This indicates, again, at least to me, that much of my impediment is uncontrollable.

I find it beneficial that Colin Firth is such a notable celebrity because that will allow his predicament to be somewhat played out in the public eye where we can all see where it eventually leads. Will he drop the habit on his own, or will be require some kind of speech therapy to overcome it?

Can stuttering/stammering be learned...to the point that one know longer has control over it and requires professional intervention to remedy it? That would be an interesting case for the medical books. What do you think?

My First Drug: Citalopram (Celexa)

Well, ladies and gents, I am embarking on my first test of pharmacological aids for stuttering. On my latest visit to my neurologist for my Essential Tremor, I asked her about stuttering medications, specifically Paglacone (she'd never heard of it...still not available, no big surprise). She asked if I was interested in traditional speech therapy again and I told her that I was not, since I had been through years and years of speech therapy as a child and teenager with virtually no result, aside from becoming more accepting of and comfortable with my stutter. We then began discussing various medications that have been used in the treatment of stuttering, and she suggested that I start a regimen of 20mg daily of Citalopram (Celexa).

But...isn't Celexa an antidepressant? Why, yes...it is. But...I'm not depressed? It seems a few antidepressant medications are also somewhat effective in the treatment of stuttering/stammering. Perhaps, in part, due to their anti-anxiety effects, which may account for at least some increased stuttering in people who tend to stutter more in stressful situations. Like, me. And probably almost all stutterers/stammerers.

According to Dr. John Paul Brady (as reported by The Stuttering Foundation), Citalopram has been effective in limited stuttering individuals in achieving some level of improved fluency. Notably, those with a severe impediment benefit best by the implementation of two medications, Citalopram (Celexa) and Aprazolam (Xanax). Since I would not consider myself a severe stutterer, I opted for only the one medication. Also, if I were to greatly benefit from both medications, I would then wonder if only one of the medications would have had the same effect. Starting with the least intrusive amount seems more scientific...at least to me.

I am concerned with side effects. As a rule, I do not like taking medications unless I am in a great deal of pain. Swallowing pills is not something I enjoy, and side effects I enjoy even less. Citalopram offers side effects that range from drowsiness, dry mouth, nausea, vomiting and nervousness...to loss of appetite and loss of sexual drive. Some of the more severe possible side effects are hallucinations and confusion. Since Citalopram is an antidepressant, the latter two, while remote, are a little distressing. Be sure that if I experience any of the latter, I will cease taking it.

My neurologist suggests that I try this medication for 2 months and then I will report back to her on the effectiveness. I will also report back to this blog, so that you can benefit from my experience. I am a bit skeptical. I am not anticipating a dramatic effect, if any at all. I hope I am pleasantly surprised. If you have tried either of these medications for stuttering (or for any reason) your input would be tremendously appreciated.

Happy Spring!!

Trump Owes An Apology to Stutterers

If you saw the recent White House Correspondent Dinner video that is circulating, then you know that Donald Trump got roasted pretty thoroughly by both President Obama and by the head writer and cast member of Saturday Night Live, Seth Meyers. You can watch the full video here...and Seth Myer's contribution here.

In my opinion, President Obama did a much better job and was genuinely funnier than Seth, although Seth got in a number of well placed zingers and one joke he made actually caused President Obama to laugh hysterically, as you'll see when you watch the video.

In response to the roasting, The Donald made a number of ridiculous remarks on Fox News in a phone-in-interview, most of which suggest that Donald Trump is a humorless grump...but also, at least one remark that shows his insensitivity to those with a disability. Criticizing Seth Meyer's monologue, Donald Trump had this to say, ""I thought Seth Meyers — his delivery frankly was not good," Trump added. He's a stutterer."

Now, I have no idea if Seth Meyers is indeed a stutterer...but, if he is not, does that make the remark okay? What if Mr. Trump had said, "He's a retard," or "He's Autistic," or "He has Tourettes." Would that be okay? Of course, it would not.

What Donald Trump did was to turn a real disability...one that millions of people the world over struggle with on a daily basis, into a pejorative...an insult...something to be poked fun of. He marginalized Seth's words, not on the basis of what he said...but by *how* he said it. He isn't attacking Seth Meyer's words...he is attacking his manner of speech. He is, in essence, saying that, because you are a stutterer, Mr. Meyers...you shouldn't be taken seriously.

While it is understandable to be somewhat insulted or put off by a roasting, it is not understandable to use ones offense as a platform on which to then denigrate those who suffer from a very real and often debilitating neurological/developmental disorder. 

Shame on you, Mr. Trump. If you truly aspire to be the Leader of the Free World, I strongly suggest you think more carefully about what you say...before you say it.

Habit or Neurology?

I may have posted about this before, I can't really remember. There are times in my day when I am completely fluent. I do not use fluency tricks, I don't block, I don't struggle with certain consonants or words...everything works just as it should and I sound like a perfectly fluent individual.

Does this indicate that I have the capacity to be completely fluent 100% of the time? During those 100% fluent times, am I tapping into an ability to be completely stutter free? If I can EVER be completely fluent, does this mean I have the ability to *always* be fluent?

Let's break it down. If I find that I have a period of time of about 3 minutes in the day where I am completely fluent without using any "tricks" to be so...what is going on during those 3 minutes? Have I broken my stuttering habits for that 3 minutes...or is it that, suddenly, for whatever reason, the basal ganglia is properly working with the rest of my brain?

It is a frustrating idea that I am exploring here because there are times when I am completely fluent and those fleeting times make me think that I can be fluent all of the time. I just have to tap into whatever is happening during those fluent times so that whatever is happening...will happen ALL  the time.

How much of my stuttering is 100% habit and how much is 100% neurology?

Someone once asked me to tell them what the experience of stuttering is like, and this is the best analogy I could think of: Imagine that when you are walking down the street, you suddenly lose the ability to put one foot in front of the other, and you suddenly start stumbling...but it only last for 5 steps...and then you can suddenly walk normally again. What made you lose the ability for those 5 steps? You have no idea! What was different during those 5 steps? You have no explanation...it's just that, suddenly, without warning and for no apparent reason...you lose the natural ability to put one foot in front of the other.

That is what stuttering is like to me. So, if I can be fluent for 3 minutes...does this indicate that I have the capacity to be fluent most or all of the time? I suppose there is no simple answer. It is probably the case that part of it is habit and part of it is neurological and I lack the ability to determine the proportions on my own.

What do you think?

Pagoclone...When will it be available? Ever?

This video below cites a 55% effectiveness rate for users and the video shows a dramatic decrease in the stuttering of the subject in question. I recently did research online and read an entry by Tom Weidig (from The Stuttering Brain Blog) on Wellsphere that didn't give me much hope. The trials are ended, the results were less than expected and, thus, it seems Pagoclone probably won't be available in the foreseeable future.

Video: Stuttering: Neuropharmacological Improvement

While I am no scientist and do not understand all of the trappings that surround and ramifications that result from such trials, it is somewhat frustrating that, even though the drug has been very effective for some and there are virtually no detrimental side effects that they can determine...the larger results determine the availability of the drug. So, for those who might greatly benefit from the drug...they are out of luck. Too bad.

I know that the following analogy will be far less than perfect, but it is similar, in my opinion, to the effects of melatonin. For many, it tremendously helps them to fall asleep at night. But, what if the FDA in the United States banned the supplement for resale simply because no empirical study shows it to be effective? That result would be unfair to those who benefit from melatonin.

Some 3 million individuals in the United States alone suffer from stuttering/stammering and, worlwide, about 1% of the global population stutters. We should all be given a chance to experience the possible beneficial effects of Pagoclone...even if it doesn't work for everybody.

Scientific progress can be frustratingly slow. Grrrr!

Headed for Neurology!

I recently obtained a new primary family physician since moving to the east coast and I have to say that I am very pleased with the recommended doctor I chose. The front desk people could be a little less terse, however. There are few things worse than hearing a person say, "Can I help you?" when you completely get the idea from the look upon their face that they truly have no interest in helping you. Is keying a rude person's car illegal? Just wondering.

One of the reasons I needed to get a primary is that my prescription for Propranolol was nearly gone and I needed a refill. For those unaware, I was diagnosed with Essential Tremor (sometimes called familial tremor) nearly 7 years ago and I take the medication for the tremors in my arms. Propranolol is actually a blood pressure medication, but taken at lower doses, has a wonderful suppressing effect on the type of tremors associated with Essential Tremor. Unlike those suffering from Parkinson's Disease, the tremors associated with ET are experienced while undertaking activity rather than at rest. For example, on a bad day, I have trouble holding a bowl of food with one hand and eating with another. The bowl will slosh around and I can hardly get a bite to my mouth. Thank you, Universe. Now, not only can I not say 5 words in a row without feeling like moron, now I have the added pleasure of rattling around like a spastic asshole, as well. Ah, life! ;P

Compared to many chronic ET sufferers, my tremor is very manageable. In fact, unless I'm doing a specific activity, nobody can even tell. And for the times when people could tell (in meetings, for example, when I had to handle and read documents), many assumed I was suffering from some kind of alcohol withdrawal or something similar. How embarrassing, right? "No, they aren't DT's. I don't drink! Really! What do you mean will I agree to a blood test??"

I had stopped taking the medication for about two years because I felt confident that the affliction wasn't affecting my life all that much (plus, I hate taking pills of any kind), but then around 2008, I began to notice pressure and mild pain in both of my shoulder joints. For lack of a better description, at times it felt as if there were air bubbles in my shoulder that would rapidly grow and then pop. At times, it felt as if my shoulders were going to pop out of joint, but it wasn't exactly painful. Just a feeling. Sometimes it felt like I had no control over my arms, if I were to undertake some action, like picking up a piece of paper or passing the crack pipe. Just little, normal things like that. So, I decided to start taking the drug again.

The good thing about Propranolol, aside from how it helps me, is that, at this low dosage, it has virtually no side effects. No liver impact, barely any drowsiness...in fact, aside from the fact that my arms feel perfectly normal, I can't even tell that I am taking anything at all. I like that.

At any rate, my new doc has scheduled me to see a new neurologist to give me a new batter of tests to assess my tremor...but, also to see what he might say about stuttering treatment. I mentioned the new drug Paglocone to him, but he has never heard of it. No big surprise there. I think I read recently that the trials for Paglogocone were ended and aren't scheduled to start up again, so we'll see how that goes. I don't know what other meds they try for stuttering, but I would be interested to try something...just because I've never tried medications for it before. I'll keep you informed of what the neurologist says.

I hope everyone's 2011 is going well. Don't forget to turn your clocks ahead tomorrow night!

Meet Bobby - A New Blogger

I love it when new comments come in on my blog posts because it gives me the chance to meet new stutterers and gives me greater insight to our community and just who is a part of it. Meet the author of the new stuttering blog Stutter Step.

What do I know about Bobby? Not much, admittedly, except that he is a professional software developer, that he loves his Dad, and that he is a good writer. I hope he will continue his blogging...it seems he has just started this year. I particularly enjoyed his two most recent posts, a review of the tremendous film, "The King's Speech" and his list of favorite celebrity stutterers. James Earl Jones, as Bobby relates, is indeed very intriguing because, although a former stutter, his most famous claim to fame is his VOICE WORK. The last line in the entry about Bruce Willis made me laugh.

I hope you check him out...his blog entries are really easy to read...nothing too heavy...you get pretty quickly that he loves life and doesn't let his stutter hinder his love for life. Good for him. We could all take a lesson.

Funny what you can pick up about a person just from what they write. :)

Welcome, Bobby!!