Friday, February 27, 2009

A Poem from Ray

I met a wonderful person on YouTube who is also a stutterer. He's a charming person who also happens to be a talent poet. He shared this poignant poem with me today and I was really moved by it. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have.

Speech impediment, walking around as this world wide idiot.
Sharing, talking and flowing, oh how I can only wish.
These teeth, tounge and lips,
I would be more than happy if I all I had were a lisp.
Red light, stop. Yellow light, stop. Green light; yeah right!
Crying inside and I hurt so much, nothing in me to aid as a crutch.
I talk then I mumble and I crash then I crumble.
Stuttering not words, but these thoughts and my feelings.
These walls I'm climbing and my skin I'm peeling.
I wish I can speak, instead I am left to seek.
No answers to behold and no courage to feel bold.
What did I say? What did you hear?
Have no fears for I am used to these tears.
My pride is in me, my pride is this...
no matter how grim it gets,
I will not give up in this darkend abyss.

~Ray (You can see him on Youtube at )

Sunday, February 08, 2009

At Home is the Worst

I stutter the most when I am at home with family members or friends. It's horrible. I've had the weekend off and my stuttering has been awful all weekend! At work, I have the easiest time and I can't figure out why that is. When I sit down to counsel the kids or do a group therapy session, I am almost completely fluent and am only forced to use a few "tricks" to get through an approaching block. Even with colleagues, I have an easy time of it. I get home, however, and suddenly, I can't say anything completely fluent.

Could it be that when I am at work, I am "on" and this helps me to be fluent? Maybe I don't act the same at work as I do at home. Maybe I turn on a different kind of persona at work...a professional persona that somehow, psychologically, makes an end-run around stuttering.

Or maybe I don't know my ass from my elbow. *shrugs*

At any rate, it's been a source of frustration for me lately and I'd be interested to know if you notice similar trends in your professional/personal life. HAPPY GRAMMY AWARDS!!