Monday, May 31, 2010

It's Frustrating!

I was at a friend's house yesterday, a very talented Animal Communicator/Psychic and this is a person I see on a regular basis each week. We are very good friends and share books, life stories, give each other advice, etc. Yet, yesterday at her house, I struggled horribly with being fluent. I also work with this lady and rarely do I stutter in my professional setting. Suddenly, however, for some mysterious reason, I couldn't say five words in a row without a major block...and my usual tricks to avoid stuttering all seemed to fail.

Maybe it was the unfamiliar setting? I have never been to visit her and her husband at their house before, so maybe that put me on edge a little. Who knows? She knows that I am a stutterer and reacts wonderfully to it, never trying to complete my sentences or even mentioning the stutter at all. Still, I felt like a huge idiot.

No matter how many times you tell yourself that stuttering doesn't determine your intelligence and shouldn't affect your value or how you feel about yourself, when days or incidents arise like this, I am virtually unable to convince myself that I don't appear to be a stuttering, stammering, dysfluent imbecile.

I hate days like that.

2 comments:

The Crow said...

You actually are a stuttering, stammering, dysfluent imbecile.

Just kidding, Mr. Comedian :)

Those days come and go, don't they?
I recognize them all too clearly.
The best you can do is accept it and smile at it. It passes. It always does.

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